Boring As Heck

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November 8, 2012 at 9:01pm
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<font color=Red>AMERICAN OUTRAGE</font>

Blogged by Rod Barnes: Part-Time Blogger, Full-Time Patriot

              Well, friends - we lost. America lost. To quote conservative luminary/Love Connection host Chuck Woolery, ”Government, like fire, is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” Well Chuck, it looks like the fire is burning out of control. And by fire, I mean government. 
   
            I will come right out and say it: I hate our president. Yes, I know, people will call me racist. Well, some of my best friends know black people. And I once accidentally rented the Chris Rock version of “Death At A Funeral,” and watched most of it. This has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with facts: up until 2008, we had never had a black president. Since then, we have only had black presidents. You do the math. 
   
            People call me xenophobic and willfully ignorant. First of all, I don’t even know what xenophobic means. And second of all, would a “willfully ignorant” individual bury all his guns and money beneath an active septic field? I didn’t think so. If you want to know what people really think, maybe take a look at my E-mail In-Box from today. Here’s a screen picture I took:

Look at how fast the E-mails are coming in.
     
            Maybe if we had nominated a real conservative, I wouldn’t be blogging this blog post. If we had chosen someone who pledged to outlaw abortions and drive out immigrants, I’m almost positive that women and Latinos would have been too frightened to vote. Instead, we chose the most liberal politician I’ve ever had the displeasure of voting for. When left-wingers like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly voice their support, you know something’s gone wrong. Romney was as liberal as they come. His kindness, compassion, and charm were his downfall. Yes, he strapped his dog to the roof of his car. But any true conservative would have let the dog do that itself. 
   
            I am from a family of patriots. My father ran a successful small business in the 1950s making signs for water fountains. Jealous liberals put him out of work. My uncle fought for the sanctity of life by shooting an abortion doctor. My brother-in-law ate so much Chick-Fil-A (3 meals a day), that President Dan Cathy sent him a personalized thank-you letter, which we read aloud at his funeral last month.    

           Heteros*xual white Christian males are a dying breed. We are the most persecuted group in modern history, next to heteros*xual white Christian females. If Basuck Loserbama (Barack Obama) has his way, we are, in no uncertain terms, doomed (By the way, I’m hoping that my new nickname for Obama, “Basuck Loserbama,” takes off in the conservative blogosphere. A little levity in these awful times is just what we need, and it’s fun to change the president’s name to something negative and really awkward to pronounce.).
     
      I go to sleep tonight weeping for the future of our once great nation. The American Dream is dead, because a black man rose from humble origins to become the President. 
   
            Stay strong, fellow Patriots.
   
            - Rod Barnes 

Notes

  1. geoffsayshi reblogged this from boring-as-heck
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  6. cheesegod69 reblogged this from oldpeoplefacebook and added:
    i like this
  7. whimsicottprincess reblogged this from oldpeoplefacebook and added:
    Signal boost!
  8. oldpeoplefacebook reblogged this from boring-as-heck and added:
    personal “comedy blog.” Hope you like it,
  9. corporatetwits reblogged this from boring-as-heck and added:
    Hey this is from my new personal “comedy blog.” Hope you guys like it, and thanks for the support!
  10. saladmagik reblogged this from rubbrcat
  11. dragnuts reblogged this from boring-as-heck
  12. yalcrelyt reblogged this from boring-as-heck and added:
    I laughed so, so hard at this.